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Boston Restaurant Blog -- December, 2018

Friday, December 28, 2018

10 Restaurant and Food "Predictions" for 2019

photo of closed for renovations signIt is the end of the year once again, and with it, prediction time! Last year we set a record in our"predictions" for 2018 by having all 10 predictions fail to happen, so hopefully that trend will continue over the course of 2019. Below are the latest predictions, starting with one that actually might happen (or not).

1) A Downtown Boston Music Club Sets Up a Special MySpace Table
Sparked by the success of Boston Chops setting up a custom "Instagram table" that allows diners to take and post perfect photos to their social media pages, a new nightclub nearby decides to build a "MySpace table" where customers can take videos of live bands and post them to their pages. Later in the year, the club continues with the theme by setting up a "Friendster table" in a function room out back but ultimately scraps the idea when it discovers that Friendster shut down in 2015.

2) A New Restaurant Row Comes to the South Boston Bypass Road
With the recent opening of the bypass road to all traffic, which allows drivers to easily get from Route 93 to the Seaport District/Fort Point area, a local developer builds a "restaurant row" along the thoroughfare that includes a high-end French spot, a Greek eatery, a gastropub, and two coffee shops along the outbound lane a short distance east of the Expressway. The entire development fails within two months, however, when it is realized that only the inbound lane of the bypass road is open to drivers.

3) Harvard Square Closes Due to Lease Issues
Because of constantly rising rents, the busiest section of Cambridge announces on Facebook that it will be leaving the city after nearly 400 years in business after attempts to renew its lease at a lower price failed. The city subsequently places chains across several roads (including Mass. Ave., JFK Street, and Garden Street) that include "Closed for Renovations" signs, saying the square will open in the spring of 2019 with a new concept.

4) The Hawaiian-Jamaican Fusion Craze Begins with the Opening of Poke-Mon
After seeing how well Hawaiian dining spots featuring raw seafood salads are doing in the Boston area while also lamenting a lack of Jamaican places in the region, a local restaurant group opens a small chain of eateries featuring raw curry chicken salads but immediately changes its offerings to cooked curry chicken salads for obvious reasons. The Poke-Mon chain goes on to national--then international--success and changes its name to Poke-Mon Universe.

5) A Table-to-Farm Restaurant Debuts in Shutesbury
In response to the continued popularity of farm-to-table restaurants in New England and beyond, a national fast-food chain tries out a new concept where its burgers, fries, and chicken sandwiches are made at a warehouse in Malden and then trucked out to a field just west of the Quabbin Reservoir where diners can eat highly-processed foods under the stars. Surprisingly, the concept takes off, with Shutesbury soon building a table-to-farm "food emporium" that can seat 600 diners on its outdoor patio and another 8 in its indoor area during the colder months.

6) A New Chain of Pastry Shops Open in Leicester, Northampton, and Salem
After doing some detailed feasibility studies, a group of restaurateurs introduce stores featuring baked goods, pastries, and more with each being located next to the first three recreational dispensaries in the state. The shops are initially called Sister Mary Elephant Ears but run into legal troubles with a comedian named Richard Marin. (The other half of the comedy team does not join in on the lawsuit, instead taking a job at the shop in Leicester.)

7) It Might Get Loud Debuts in South Boston, Somerville
Ten years after being featured in a documentary by the same name, guitarists Jack White and The Edge open a pair of restaurants, bars, and music spots that tap into customers' love for places that are so noisy that they can't hear anyone around them. The City Point and Union Square spots debut in the fall, but without Jimmy Page as a partner (who was also in the documentary), as no one is quite sure where he is.

8) A Pair of Gastropubs in Brookline and Los Angeles Set Up Complimentary Shuttle Service
Seeing the success of free water shuttle service between the Reelhouse in East Boston and Pier 6 in Charlestown, the people behind a beer bar in West Hollywood open up a second location in Coolidge Corner and offer bus service between the two places at no charge. The service lasts a total of three days, ending when a snowstorm hits Colorado.

9) Ted Opens Chain of Honey Shops in Hingham, Lynnfield, Fenway, and Dorchester
Frustrated with a stalled career and the increasing success of his former thunder buddy for life, Mark Wahlberg's caustic teddy bear sidekick starts a fundraiser to open a group of stores featuring honey and blueberries, with each shop being adjacent to a Wahlburgers restaurant. The concept fails but Ted ultimately finds success after teaming up with Flash Gordon to open a massively popular seafood chain called, ironically, "Ted 2."

10) Inverted Seaport District Tower Brings 3 Condos, 452 Restaurants to the Waterfront
With the saturation of residential units threatening to reverse the success of one of Boston's hottest areas, a local developer gets the go-ahead on a risky project that includes a 22-story tower that has several hundred dining options on the top 21 floors and three ground-floor condos. The development ultimately fails and a local dive bar owner purchases the property, opening a dark and gloomy watering hole with seating for 14 downstairs and another 15,000 on the upper floors.


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