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Boston Restaurant Blog -- December, 2014

Monday, December 22, 2014

Some Restaurant and Food "Predictions" for 2015

As a few of you may recall, some "predictions for 2013" and "predictions for 2014" have been made on this site over the past couple of years, none of which have come true (well, maybe a few, but those came about by accident). And now it's time for some restaurant and food predictions for 2015, with some of these predictions hopefully coming true--or not.

1) Facebook Opens a Chain of Cat Cafes
After discovering that 95% of all posts on Facebook relate either directly or indirectly to cats, the social media giant will decide to open a number of Cat Cafes across the country, including one in Boston, two in Carlisle, and another in the middle of Boston Harbor (it will be the world's first floating cat cafe). The name of the chain will tentatively be Grumpy Cat's.

2) A Durian Truck Opens, Then Shuts Down Because of Exhaust Issues
Among the 350 food trucks that debut in Boston in the spring of 2015 will be a truck that features durian, an Asian fruit that smells like old socks. The city will quickly revoke its license because of complaints about the smell coming from the exhaust pipe, though it is eventually learned that the smell had actually been coming from the food.

3) A South Boston Dive Bar Sells Its Liquor License to an Upscale Chain for $600,000 and Jon Lester
One of the last neighborhood drinking joints in Southie gets an offer from a group of Northern Italian eateries that will allow the owners to retire to Cape Cod and at the same time (via a three-way deal with the Chicago Cubs) land a ringer for the softball team they form at their condo complex.

4) More Restaurants Open with Punctuation Marks in Unusual Places
After seeing the success of MAST' in downtown Boston, owners of other new dining spots jump on the trend and open such places as Mal?den Sushi and Noodles, Ashmont-Hill-Cafe, Billy's !Pizza! Place, the Red(Stone) Steakhouse, and Dot...Ave Grill.

5) An Independent Restaurant Opens in Boston's Seaport District
Just kidding.

6) Panera Opens a New Chain of Hard Rock Clubs Called Pantera
Noting a void in the number of rock clubs found in major American cities, the national chain of bakery-cafes goes a new route with a flagship club in Boston's Faneuil Hall but quickly changes the name of the chain from Pantera to Scone Temple Pilots because no one who owns a laptop and a bicycle with fixed gears seems to know what a Pantera is.

7) In-N-Out Burger Announces Major Plans to Continue to Not Come to Boston
The California-based burger chain does say that it promises to open a location within 2,000 miles of downtown Boston by 2018, however.

8) A Food Truck Opens Two Restaurants Inside Its Truck
Taking its cue from the upcoming Coppersmith in South Boston which plans to include two food trucks inside its restaurant space, a food truck decides to try the opposite, with a 1-seat New American restaurant and a 2-seat cafe set up inside its truck. The City of Boston okays the plans but rejects the proposal for live music on Saturday nights.

9) A Restaurant Called "Closed for Renovations" Opens in Cambridge
A new dining spot with a rather unusual name opens in Harvard Square, but the lease becomes too much for the restaurant and it puts up a sign in the door saying "Closed for Renovations," causing more than a small amount of confusion.

10) A Restaurant Opens in a Still-Working Power Substation in Hyde Park
With the news coming out that a restaurant could be opening in a now-closed historic substation building in neighboring Roslindale, a local chef decides to open a farm-to-table dining spot in a still-in-use substation just north of Readville. The menu features blackened everything, with the beer list being limited to options from Shock Top.


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